


Orgoatnization XIII

by greeneggs101



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Bad goat puns, Fluff and Crack, Goats, M/M, So many goats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 17:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19950250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneggs101/pseuds/greeneggs101
Summary: What if, instead of Xehanort and Eraqus ascending into...wherever they went, Xehanort was banished to live out his days in the keyblade graveyard.And then the goats just start showing up. Sora's not sure what to do about that.(Honestly, this is just a weird fic inspired by a weirder dream I had about Xehanort raising goats and them just using his back as a springboard.)





	Orgoatnization XIII

**Author's Note:**

> Don't have chocolate before bed. It leads to weird dreams like this one. Just weird dreams. 
> 
> But in all honesty, the idea wouldn't leave me alone. Just. Goats So many goats. 
> 
> Also, this was briefly edited, but it's also like. 2am here (as I said. idea wouldn't leave me alone). I'll edit it better in daylight, but it's dumb fic and I wanted to _post it_
> 
> (Also since Ao3 doesn't have a rating between 'G' and 'T' please consider this _'G+'_ 😂)

No one really knew where they came from. All that was known was that when they left Xehanort, alone and powerless, on the rocky world now forever known as the Keyblade Graveyard, he was, well,  _ alone _ . Save for the ghosts of keyblade wielders that may or may not have haunted the keys that rusted away there, Xehanort was  _ definitely _ alone. 

At least when they left. 

When Sora came to visit a month later (“Because you can’t just leave him there without visiting,  _ Riku _ .” “I think you’re missing the point of banishment,  _ Sora. _ ”), they were there. Climbing over the rocky terrain, jumping over small rocks, munching on what little vegetation that grew there. 

Sora had to stop and stare for a moment, rubbing his eyes to make sure that he wasn’t just seeing things. That the lack of any imminent threat hadn’t caused his brain to finally crack. 

But nope. When he opened his eyes, it was to one staring at him, it’s eyes kinda scary and weird with their rectangular pupil. 

And then it used Sora’s groin as a springboard to do a backflip. 

Sora gasped, bending over to protect his dick from further assault by hoof. They were  _ definitely _ real. 

He glanced up, quickly taking a count. They hopped and jumped all over the place, but when he was done he quickly texted Riku. 

_ “Hey, where would Xehanort just happen to find a half dozen goats to raise?” _

\---

Riku didn’t believe him. 

Which he supposed made sense. Sora wouldn’t believe himself. And he was there and had the bruise on his groin to prove it. 

“I have pictures!!” Sora waved his camera in front of his boyfriend’s face. “You can’t say I made those up!”

“You could have photoshopped them.”

“I don’t even know what that is!!” Sora pouted, but when he glanced up at Riku’s face, he saw a small grin hovering on those wonderful, perfect lips. “Riku! Stop teasing me! That goat left a really big bruise!”

Riku huffed out a laugh, leaning down to capture Sora’s lips in a brief kiss. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll kiss it better later.”

Sora continued to pout. At least…. Until he remembered just where the bruise was. Then he perked up. 

That sounded promising. 

“So… they’re real goats?” Kairi asked, and Sora nearly jumped out of his skin. He had forgotten she was also in the room. 

“Uh… yeah…” Sora pulled up the pictures again and showed them to her. “They’re actually kinda cute.”

“But… real goats?” Kairi repeated. “Not--heartless goats?”

“Or nobody goats?” Roxas added, leaning in to view the pictures. 

“Or even, like, dream eater goats somehow?” Riku looked at the pictures again. “Maybe a variation of the Yoggy Ram?”

Sora shook his head. “No way. They were just… goats. I’m sure they’re like… different breeds maybe. But they’re goats.”

He stared at the three of them, then at the others who had started to gather around to look at the pictures. Then as one, they all turned to Yen Sid, who was stroking his beard in thought. 

“This is unprecedented.”

“Our arch-enemy who was banished to a desolate wasteland to live out the short remainder of his life is currently raising a flock of goats that we  _ definitely _ didn’t leave him with.” Riku crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. “I’d be more concerned if this  _ was _ precedented.” 

Sora couldn’t help but lean into his boyfriend a bit. Riku was so cool.

“I suppose… if they’re not coming to harm, Xehanort may keep the goats.” Yen Sid raised a finger, “But. I suppose this means that we must also check on the goats from time to time. To be sure that no harm befalls them.”

“Riku and I will go check on them first!” Sora grabbed his boyfriend’s hand, feeling his face grow hot when Riku curled his intertwined their fingers together. He would never grow tired of this. How had he never noticed before how perfectly their hands fit together. 

“As long as you two treat it as the mission it is and not a vacation. Or a tryst.” 

The good mood Sora had been feeling evaporated the instant Master Yen Sid said ‘tryst.’

Riku squeezed his hand though and part of his good mood returned. The bowed politely and agreed, hurrying to the gummiship. 

“What do goats even  _ eat, _ Riku?”

\---

Riku had to admit, even with the pictures, part of him still kinda doubted the goats. There was just no way goats would… appear in the Keyblade Graveyard. Goats didn’t just spontaneously come into existence. 

And yet--

“Hey’s there more of them now!” Sora laughed, walking up to one of the smaller goats and held out a hand, trying to pet it. The small black goat bleated at the hand angrily before head butting Sora’s shins. It didn’t look like it hurt much though as Sora’s grin only widened. “This one’s so cute! Do you think, uh--- How do goats make babies?”

Riku let out a sigh, “I’m guessing the same way as any other animal. Except for birds. And fish I suppose.” 

“Oh... “ Sora frowned, still trying to pet the small angry goat. “Well... I don’t think any of the goats were pregnant last time. I wonder where these little guys came from.”

Riku wondered too, but it made his brain hurt to think too hard about, so he just walked over and tapped Sora’s shoulder instead. “C’mon. Let's get a better count and take pictures so we can tell if anything changes with them when we check on them.”

“Okay!” Sora straightened out, still paying no mind to the tiny goat still trying to head but him into submission. “I can show you the ones I saw before, then we can see which ones appeared.”

“Alright,” Riku agreed, accepting Sora’s hand when it was offered. Sora’s hand was warm, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable warmth in this desert. It was a hand Riku always wanted to hold, no matter the weather. It was a hand that made him feel safe and protected. And loved. 

He felt Sora’s hand tighten briefly in a squeeze, and when he looked up, he found Sora smiling at him, a soft look in his eye. Riku opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but then found his lips covered by Sora’s own. His boyfriend eagerly took advantage of Riku’s slightly parted mouth to sneak his tongue in. Riku released his grip on Sora’s hand only so he could grip the back of Sora’s head, tilted it so the angle was perfect and the kiss deepened to something that was definitely not “mission approved.” 

Then Sora let out a small groan and Riku was just thinking about dragging him back to the gummiship when there was a hard shove at his back. His and Sora’s teeth knocked together painfully and they jerked apart. Riku quickly summoned his keyblade, ready to fight whatever had snuck up on them--

\-- and found his silver pelted opponent to be about two and a half feet tall and only armed with horns, hooves, and a deadly golden-eyed glare. 

“Oh, Billy! That’s not very nice!!” Sora wagged a finger at the goat who completely ignored it in favor of glaring at Riku. 

Riku blinked in confusion. “Billy?”

“Well… I mean,” Sora giggled rubbing the back of his neck. “I may have, uh, named them? I mean, they’re gonna need names. We can’t just let Xehanort go around raising goats and not name them.” 

Riku blinked a few more times, but Sora seemed to think he was making sense. “I don’t think neither Xehanort nor the goats care that much.” 

Sora frowned, “Well, I care. And they needed names. So that one is Billy Goat Zane.” 

Riku turned to look at the goat, who for an animal with seemingly very little intelligence, looked very unimpressed with his name. Then Riku turned back to his boyfriend. “Excuse me?”

“Well…. I asked Jiminy, and male goats are called Billy Goats. And this one is a little, like, zaney. So Billy Goat Zane.” 

Riku blinked once, twice, but the name still sounded kinda dumb. Then he let out a startled laugh. 

He loved his boyfriend. Every bit of him was just so endearing. Even the fact that Sora sucked at names did nothing to dissuade Riku’s affection. If anything, Riku felt even more in love with the brunet than he had five seconds ago. 

“What’s so funny?” Sora pouted and Riku leaned over to capture those lips. 

“It’s nothing. You’re just adorable.” 

“Oh… well… obviously.” Sora grinned and kissed Riku back. Then he turned back to the assembled goats. “So the one old gnarled up one of ver there is XigGoat. And the one female is Larxnanny. There’s one around here who has horns that reminded me of Marluxia’s Scythes. So he’s Goatluxia. And then--”

Riku continued to grin at Sora as he listed off every name he gave the goat. Then he sensed a presence looking at them. When Riku turned, he saw a faint figure standing on the porch of the small cabin Yen Sid’s magic had created for Xehanort’s use during his banishment. It had a fridge that would never empty and a well-stocked medicine cabinet. But other than that, Xehanort was cut off from the outside world. Officially there were to be no visitors, no requests, and no contact with outsiders of any kind. 

Apparently, that didn’t extend to goats. 

“Riku what’s--oh. Hi!” Sora waved down at the figure of Xehanort who seemed to stare at them for a moment longer before returning to his cabin, slamming the door behind him. 

“Well… that was…” Sora let out a sigh. “I’m still kinda angry with him though.”

“Just kinda?” Riku crossed his arms. “You’re heart’s bigger than mine then. I’m fucking pissed.” 

“Yeah,” Sora let out a sigh. “I suppose I just wish that he had found happiness some other way. Rather than doing what he did, he could have had happiness.”

Riku glanced over. Sora looked so forlorn even his hair was droopy. Riku let out a sigh and wrapped an arm around Sora’s waist. “Don’t worry about it okay? Maybe the goats will help him figure out how to be happy and that’s why they’re here.” 

Riku rather thought that Xehanort didn’t deserve happiness, but he understood Sora’s need to hope for everyone to be happy. It was his job, what his heart wanted. Riku couldn’t deny him hope for that. 

Instantly Sora perked up at Riku’s words. “Yeah! You’re right!” He offered Riku a grin and leaned up to kiss him briefly on the lips. 

Riku grinned, kissing back just as brief before pulling away, “Okay so what about the new--uh--” Riku looked down to where another small goat was headbutting his legs angrily, backing up every few hits to try and get a running start. “Hello?”

Riku bent down to get a closer look, which seemed to startle the small goat. It glanced up quickly before turning and darting away. It didn’t get very far though when its legs seemed to seize up and it fell over. 

A peal of laughter burst out of Riku’s chest and he quickly knelt down to the little goat’s side. “You okay there little guy?”

The goat stared up at him, the fear slowly leaving its eyes as it realized that Riku wasn’t going to hurt him. Then the tension left his legs and the goat regained his footing. 

“Poor guy,” Sora noted, leaning down to pet the goat gently on its white-colored fur. The little goat stared up at Sora with greenish-gold eyes, butting his hands before running off. The little black goat from earlier practically tackled the white one to the ground, initiating a headbutting battle that Riku was sure wasn’t going to end any time soon. 

Sora looked at Riku, and they both burst into peals of laughter at the same time. It was entirely rediculous, this small herd of goats. 

Riku then felt something pull sharply at his hair. He turned to look, finding the older billy goat from earlier munching quietly on something silver in his mouth. With a start, Riku realized what it was.

“Did you just eat my hair?!” Riku quickly ran his hand through his hair, checking for damages. Nothing felt too terrible but still, that stupid goat got a lot of hair. 

Sora continued to laugh, “I guess he thought you looked tasty. Better be careful…” 

Riku glared at the goat for a moment longer. There was something in that dead golden-eyed stare. 

Suddenly. Riku knew. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew. 

The goat was Xehanort’s heartless. Ansem. 

Teal eyes widened, glancing around, wondering if he and Sora had stumbled into a clever if bizarre trap. 

But the goats remained goats, though Riku did notice some glaring more than others. 

“We have got to bring the others here!” Sora cheered, petting a different goat that didn't seem to mind the touch too much. 

Riku wasn’t so sure this was a good idea anymore. 

\---

Most of the others loved the goats. And Riku had to admit, reincarnations of seekers of darkness or not, they were kinda cute. 

Aqua began to lead a Yoga session every other week, joined by Kairi, Namine, and Ventus. They let the goats climb all over them during their poses. Aqua did confide in Riku though that one or two of the goats did put her on edge, so at least Riku wasn’t alone in his theory. 

Terra began to research what kind of food goats liked other than the tough, sparse grass that grew in the Keyblade Graveyard, and then made sure that a supply of alfalfa and other plant materials always arrived at Xehanort’s doorstep every other week. 

Ven had helped Sora name the rest of the goats, and now Riku wondered if Sora got his terrible taste in naming things from Ven, or if it was the other way around. While ones like Goatnas and Goatnort were just kinda dumb, even Riku understood the way the small black goat would head but Ven or Sora whenever either of them referred to it by the name “Baa-nitas.”

Though, Riku couldn’t say he had much room to talk. Sora insisted that he name the small white goat that was now fast asleep in his lap, and after much inward deliberation, Riku had settled on the name “Riku Replibaa.”

So all the goats were just gonna have terrible names. Riku failed to see a problem with this. 

“Kairi! Watch this!” 

Lea’s voice carried over the empty wasteland. Riku’s eyes darted over to the cabin door. But much like every time they visited, Xehanort rarely left his cabin whenever they were around. The only way they could tell he was alive sometimes was the light left on in the window and the steady stream of smoke that emerged from the chimney. 

“Woah! Do that again!”

Sora’s excitement distracted Riku from his thoughts and he returned his attention to the gathered group. 

Lea was couched down, hands braced against his knees. After a moment, one of the goats, a sort of blue-grey colored one that Sora had named “Baa-serker” ran towards Lea. It leaped, landing perfectly on Lea’s back. Lea stood carefully, the goat shifting with his movements till Lea was nearly vertical again. Only then did the goat jump down. 

“Wow!” Riku was impressed He didn’t think the goats could keep balance like that. 

“They are rather remarkable in a way,” Aqua noted, taking a seat next to Riku. 

Sora hummed in agreement, laying his hand on Riku’s shoulder. “I’m not sure if the goats are helping Xehanort be happy. But they’re making me happy.” He squeezed Riku’s bicep for a minute before reaching down and taking Riku’s hand in his. 

Riku thought that’s all that really mattered. He wrapped an arm around Sora’s waist, pulling his boyfriend in closer. 

“Is Riku Replibaa feeling better yet?” Ven asked, holding a squirming and unhappy Baa-nitas in his arms. “I think this one needs a friend to run off his energy with.”

Riku glanced down in his lap, finding that the small white goat did have his eyes open, looking a little more alert than he had been when they first arrived that morning. “What do you say, little guy? Wanna play?”

Riku Replibaa looked up at him before shakily climbing out of Riku’s lap. Ven bent over and released the small black goat and the two ran off to play. Ven took a seat next to Sora, picking absently a the grass around them. 

Suddenly, the moment was broken when Riku felt another sharp tug at his hair, and he turned quickly. “Dammit! Not again!” 

“I told you, Billy Goat Zane, that’s not nice!” Sora waggled his finger, still convinced that was teaching the goat some kind of lesson. 

The goat continued to chew on the bit of Riku’s hair he had managed to pull out. Riku glared at the goat, which he had privately named Goatsem. His hair already felt like it was growing shorter by the minute, he certainly didn't need hep. 

“It’s been a few months and I don’t think Xehanort is harming the goats.” Terra took a seat as well. “I suppose that means he can keep them.” 

Sora grinned, resuming his spot of leaning against Riku’s shoulder. Riku glared one last time at Goatsem before wrapping his arm around Sora’s waist again. “Good, then that means we can visit them whenever we want!”

Riku frowned, not sure how he felt about that, Especially with Goatsem around and apparently dead set on making Riku bald before he’s twenty. 

Then he sensed movement out of the corner of his eye. Looking he saw Xehanort staring again, hands clasped behind his back. 

Riku supposed the goats were a good enough reason to check on Xehanort. He’d just have to keep an eye on Goatsem. 

\---

“Really. Goats?”

“You always seemed to like them when we were kids.”

Xehanort huffed, refusing to look as the light seemed to converge, creating the semblance of his old friend out of thin air. “Children don’t know what they like.”

“Right, and you just designed a set of goat-like armor because you hated goats?” 

Xehanort glared at Eraqus, “What’s this really about?”

Eraqus shrugged, then grinned in that aggravating manner. “I just thought you’d like some company.” 

Xehanort huffed and glared, finally just refusing to answer. He didn’t need company. He didn’t need anything. He was barred from research, barred from even searching for the secret of the [chi]-blade. 

So instead he turned away, refusing to dignify that with a response. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the light form of his old friend shift and he wondered if he had (finally) scared Eraqus off. 

Ruff, ruff!

Xehanort’s heart jumped at the sound, and he turned to level a glare at the new black dog that now stood on his porch, mouth wide and tongue lolling in a canine grin. 

Xehanort let out yet another huff and rolled his eyes. “I said you were a sly fox. Not a dog.”

The dog yipped in a cheeky response but did not return to his old friend’s form, so Xehanort supposed he was stuck with the animal. Much like the goats that just appeared in his front yard one day, eating whatever greenery they could find. Oh well. At least the guardians looked after them so Xehanort didn’t have to. 

He did wonder though if that out of touch Master Yen Sid would grant him some black fabric. 

Maybe he could make something out of this organization of goats after all...

**Author's Note:**

> :D Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment! ~~and your goat name puns~~


End file.
